Missing Heart
by IHeichouAss
Summary: Being in absuive realtionship, Eren can't even tell what is love and what is fear. He cares for Erwin still, but he wonders how much longer he can do this. Levi is a lonely man, with no motivation to do anything besides work. But it changes when he meets his boss' boyfriend. He notices right away that something is off. And he won't stop until he gets their happiness back.
1. Chp 1: Eren's POV

**trigger warning?**

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I feel his fist slam into my face, but it doesn't even hurt much anymore. I fall to the floor, clutching at it with shaky eyes as this time his foot crashes with my side and stomach, leaving me limp on the ground with small whimpers as I try to catch my breath. I'm so used to this feeling, in a way I actually start to welcome and wish for it. Afterall, it's what I deserve right? That's all I'm told everyday... Erwin's put a roof over my head, taking me in when no one else would. I'm just a worthless piece of trash he's given one more chance to. I'm thankful, even with these conditions. He deserves everything I have. My obedience, body, everything.

When he finally stops and stalks off to our room, I'm left on the floor with a mouth full of blood and a throbbing stomach. The pain eventually starts to flood in only bit by bit when I get up to grab a cup of water to rinse the blood out of my mouth. I'm thankful he didn't hit me as much tonight as he usually does. We do have that important dinner tonight with his co-workers afterall. I can't show up with a bruised, swollen face. The first hit I had gotten was to the cheek. It was no doubtedly sporting a red shade. Maybe I could put makeup over it.

After cleaning up the mess of the bit of blood that gotten on the floor and the things that he had knocked over, I walk back to our room and give it a couple soft knocks. The door opens not long after, and I'm greeted with strong arms wrapped around me. I flinch reflexively and tense, but realize he's only embracing me. There's no other choice but to accept it, so I wrap my arms around his waist and let myself sink into the warmth. It's nice if I close my eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispers into my ear, voice hoarse as if he were overcome with emotion. I nod into his chest. This has become sort of a habit. I believed it at the start, but now I don't know what is lie and what is truth.

I don't say anything back to his apology, only casting my eyes downward as I only wish to lay down and sleep a bit before we go. He notices and gives me a look, as if expecting me to say it's fine. But his phone rings before he could say anything to me. I take that as an opprotunity to get to the bed without anymore violence. Thank you to whoever's calling. Erwin takes a seat on the edge of the bed while I quietly get into the bed and lay down. I face away from him as he continues with his phone conversation. Must be someone we're meeting with at the dinner tonight. I sigh as I bury my face into the soft pillow, not even sure if I wanted to go tonight anymore. The somewhat of a good mood he had this morning was gone and down the toilet. Plus my face was swelling. What excuse could I possibly use to get out of that? Another sigh. I sink into the bed, and soon feel Erwin's weight shifting over to me. His arm snakes under my body and pulls me close to him. I try hard not to yelp from surprise and fear, but I'm met with another hug. I can't help but to deflate a bit from relief, but his loud voice ends up making me tense all over again. "We're leaving in an hour, you better cover..that... up. Take a shower, dress up nice." He must mean my face. I give a nod, looking up to him with wide eyes.

After I'm let go, I head to the bathroom and shower. I'm on watch for Erwin, who might force himself in with me. I hurry and get out in under ten minutes. A towel is only around my waist as I step in front of the sink and stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes glance down to my side, where a large bruise was. I sigh as I look up to my own face in the mirror, noticing the bruises littering my left cheek and eye. What am I doing? Why am I letting myself go through this? Convincing myself the love is real between us, it's no hope. It's already been four years, and the point of return back to normal life is getting further away everyday. Of course I've tried running, but he's caught me everytime. There's no way of getting away from Erwin. I guess that's just the way my life is going to be. It's going to be the way it ends. He's going to kill me one day. I shoo away the violent images and thoughts and grab my makeup bag and pull out some foundation, concealer and a few brushes. Erwin doesn't usually hit me in the face, but I do always have this handy just in case.. Thank God, otherwise I could never show myself.

Pitiful whimpers escape my mouth as I cake the makeup onto the raw, red-purple bruises around my face. The pain is too much, almost like being punched again. But I fight through and continue on to the end. It doesn't look too bad after I'm finished, the swelling being covered by my uncontrollable hair.

I take a few more looks in the mirror before reluctantly leaving the bathroom to get dressed. I can immediately feel Erwin's eyes stare at me. And hard too. I should have brought a change of clothes with me, so I wouldn't have to deal with this. I grab a pair of tight fitting boxers and put them on quick. I feel a bit better as I grab a neat dress shirt and slacks. "H-How about these..?" My voice is silent as I turn around and hold it up for Erwin to see. He has all choices of my clothing. He's picked out basically picked out my entire wardrobe, saying the ones I liked where too slutty for his liking.

Erwin stares at me for a moment, glancing from the clothes to my face. I had my eyes cast downward, not wanting to meet his eyes at all. But a couple seconds later, I hear the bed squeak. He got up. And he's coming toward me. Why? Did I choose something wrong? Fear no doubtedly shows in my eyes, so I keep them down. But something grabs me roughly by the cheeks, forcing my head up. It's Erwin's hand. His face doesn't show anger at all, and even a smile is on his lips.

"Why won't you look at me?" He asks, as if he were the victim. His eyes wander my face and I'm practically shaking in fear. Did he smear the makeup? Is he upset? I don't want to get hit again. I try to apologize as best I can, but the words are incoherent due to his hand squeezing my face. But he shushes me with a kiss. Any normal couple, there would have been a warm atmosphere, the feeling of love. But the kiss only sent shivers of fear and disgust down my spine. He finally pulls away after what seems like years and glances down to the clothes in my hands. "You can wear them." I give a small nod and his phone rang again. Erwin looks surprised when seeing the caller ID, and ends up walking out of the room with a wave. I could faintly hear a greeting to Leroy, no. Maybe Levi? I'm not sure.. But I shake it off anyway and continue to get dressed. After putting on shoes, I grab a few things that Erwin forgot in the room. It was already almost time to go, and he's still on the phone. I take last minute looks at my face before Erwin calls me out.


	2. Chp 2: Levi's POV

_**this story sucks srry**_

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Levi's POV

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I sit silently, waiting at the reserved table. The diner was quiter than usual, but the seats seemed to be less comfortable. I shifted in the chair and sighed in annoyance. Because once again I'm the first one to arrive for the so called 'social gathering' with my annoying ass co-workers. A waitress came by to ask if I wanted anything, but I politely shook my head, clearly fine with the fancy lemon water I got. The woman nodded and moved on to another table, leaving me with my thoughts and inspections of how clean this resturant really was.

After what seemed to be years later, the boss Erwin showed up. Standing to greet him, I notice a young brunette tailing behind him. I stepped closer to get a better look and that's when it hit me. That boy is Eren? Erwin's boyfriend, Eren. What the hell was this guy doing with a kid who looked 12? I blinked and looked away when realizing I have been staring since he'd walked in. Erwin's footsteps were quiet, so I didn't know he was behind me until he spoke with his usual deep and very manly voice. "Good to see you could make it, Levi." He stated, and I turned around to see an outstretched hand. I couldn't worry about germs right now, so I grab and shook it slowly. Erwin then turned to the brunette, a very tight, possesive hand snaked around his waist. "This is Eren, I believe I have mentioned him to you before." I nodded in Eren's direction, but all he did was give me a shy smile and look away. He looked so uncomfortable. Something about this kid struck me as odd. Maybe it was the fact that he was younger than he thought he would. Pretty soon after that, though, other's started to fill the table. Oluo and Petra, Hanji, Mike and others from their small work team. It was all laughter after that, and I did my best to tune out all of the chatter.

I want to be home, away from everyone. It's so stressing talking to people, trying to please them and smiling. It doesn't seem I'm the only one who feels this way. Eren, next to Erwin and across from me at the table is silent, looking down to his lap with a small frown. Wouldn't some kid his age be on their phone or something? Well, this is a semi-formal dinner. It would be kind of rude. Good for him for being respectful. I stop myself when I realize I'm fucking complimenting this kid. What was wrong with me? I can't stop staring at him either.

I clear my throat and join in on the conversation that was currently happening, saying the first bullshit that came to mind. Something about this all just made me feel kind of uneasy. I haven't been laid in a while, that must be it. I admit it, yeah, the Eren kid is kind of cute. And maybe my type when it comes to looks. Shut up, I know what you're thinking. I'm not going to hit on him. I'd risk losing my job and feeling even more shittier than I do everyday. Hanji was still talking, now about Erwin and Eren.

"How'd you manage to get this one, Erwin!? He's so cute!" Before I knew it, Hanji was out of her chair, and reaching across the table to grab a hold of Eren's cheeks to squeeze them. It was a bit of a surprise to see him practically panic and shove her away with wide and shaking eyes. He scooted his chair back and looked back at Erwin before getting up and walking to the bathroom. If I'm seeing things, I swear I could see fear? It's the first time I've seen him look Erwin in the eyes tonight, and why did he look like that? He didn't even give anyone a chance to say anything before walking off.

Erwin looked like he gave literally no shits about what happened. His boyfriend was clearly upset about something, enough to walk off like that without saying anything. He only resumed their conversations with a small "Sorry about that, he's kind of a drama queen." Something about the words really pissed me off. So I got up on my own to go to the bathroom to check on the shitty brat on my own. Everyone looked at me shocked, but I couldn't care less. Erwin still looked normal, his eyes only following me as I left. It left me with a slight shiver down my back, but I ignored it for now.

I opened the bathroom door, to immediately be met with the sound of light sobbing. Jeez, maybe Erwin was right? Why was he crying over being touched on the cheek. Especially by Hanji. Maybe her eccentricness scared him. What a hilarious thought. "Hey, Eren. Which stall are you in? Are you okay?" I could hear the sobbing quickly halt to a stop, and a few sniffles after that.

"I'm...Fine. I just..don't want to be here." His voice cracked as he spoke, and it really made me wonder if the cheek grabbing was all this was.

I knew what stall he was in now, from his feet touching the floor. So I stood in front of and knocked a couple times. "Then, tell Erwin that. I'm sure he'll take you home."

Another fit of sobs come from the other side of the door, and I'm left shocked. "I don't want to be there either!" His voice was definitely louder than before, and the words were mushed together from his crying. Maybe he's with Erwin for his money? It's always a thought. He has a nice job, with a nice pay. So of course it might attract some gold diggers. But something really pulls me back from thinking that. He sounds afraid of something.

The stall unlocks, and he opens it, to reveal his tear streaked face. It looked terrible. Especially with.. That on his face. It was a bruise. Covered up with makeup but it was rubbed off, and it looked more patchy now. It was a very bright red purple. It looked so painful. I don't know what to do. Other than stare with a blank face as I tried to register what the hell I'm seeing. Eren is in an abusive relationship with Erwin? Since when?

I let a curious hand come out to grab his chin to move it so I could see the bruises better. It looks so terrible. How the hell could someone do something like this to someone? "Is there more of this?"

"Y-Yes...I used to think I'm okay with it, but after this..I don't know anymore. It's been so long. I'm tired." He looked a bit calmer now, but it didn't stop him from looking up to me with wide eyes. "Please, please don't tell Erwin I told you...I don't know what he'd do." His eyes casted downward. "I know I'm probably going to get beat for spending so long in the bathroom with another guy, and for creating a scene like that. I'm so stupid." He sniffled as he tried not to cry again. He took a few deep breaths, before wiping his face with a pained look. He moved out of the stall, and around me to look in the mirror. He pulled a small thing of makeup, and he applied it evenly to the affected areas. It was covered up well. Too well. I wonder how long he's been doing this.

I wonder how long before I fucking kick Erwin's face in? How could he do this? I considered going to the cops for a minute, but Eren seemed pretty serious about Erwin not figuring out. For now, all I can do is...Absolutely fucking nothing.

I reach into the pocket of my suit jacket, and pull out my small notebook and a pen. I write down my number and tear it off. I hold it out, and wait for him to take it. He looks up to me with a small frown. "You know I can't take this right? If Erwin finds this he'll be angry."

I sigh, and shove it into his pocket myself. "You fucking take this. Or I'll call the police. I want you to call me whenever you feel like you're in trouble. Or if you need help leaving his ass. Which I strongly advise you to do. Eren, you can't live like this."

"You don't think I know that!?.." He snapped for a moment, but he took a deep breath. "Erwin.. He loves me. He protects me. I just... Have to deal with the bad too right? I'm fine.. It isn't that bad anyway. I...I'm happy." What a fucking lie.

I'm about to say something, more like yell it. But the door of the restroom opens. I don't immediately look over, until Eren snapped up and looked absolutely terrified. Damn it. It's fucking Erwin. I turn around slowly, to see this guy with the shadiest smile I've ever seen. I want to knock his teeth in his throat.

"You guys sure have been in here for a while. Girl talk, huh?" He laughed and his smile dropped. "Levi, I hope you understand, that he's not available. I'll be more than happy to set you up with someone. How about Mike?"

"No, fuck you. I'm not going after your little boyfriend. I came in here to lecture his ass about how rude it is to stomp off like a little shit." I cross my arms, and give Eren a small questioning look before stepping out of the way.

"Oh. Well, maybe I should give a lecture too. Can I have a word alone with my boyfriend?" He winked and gave another disgusting smile. I have no other choice than to leave. I don't want him to know I know about this just yet. I hold the door open to walk out making complete eye contact with Eren. I mouth 'call me' before the door shuts in front of me.


	3. Chp 3: Eren's POV

**Eren's POV:**

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I hate this. I want to go home. In the car, before we got out to go meet with his friends. Erwin violently kissed me with his hand around my throat. "Don't embarrass me, okay?" He said, but I knew that in the first place. I don't say anything, due to the sudden loss of breath from being manhandled like that. I don't know what to do. I want to beg him to stop.

But before my lips could open to mumble something, he let go. Air. Thank God. I take a deep breath, looking somewhat calm and I try not to gasp for air. After I could breathe normally again, I fixed my shirt and flashed him a big, fake smile. He seemed to like it, since he mirrored it back to me. He used to be so attractive to me, but all now I see is someone to be afraid of.

I still love Erwin. He has problems, but he won't fix them. That's what went wrong. The first time he hit me, I should have suggested counseling or just left him... Anything to help prevent the years of pain that would lead after that. He said he'd stop, and that he doesn't mean to. And I actually, really do believe him. He's..Just not himself anymore. He drinking more, making terrible decisons. He won't let me have any freedom whatsoever. I can't go out, or talk to my friends anymore. It puts me and everyone in his life in danger. And I have to figure out some way to make it stop, because after tonight. And now. It made me realize.

I'd rather live in the fucking streets than this. I'm losing myself. I used to be cool, carefree, and socialable. I want that back, so bad. I want to feel alive again. I will not let myself be torn down anymore. Easier said than done, though. I don't know how to get out of this. If I leave, he'll find me and bring me right back. I can't lock him up, either. I don't know, something in me.. I just can't bring myself to call the police on him.

I sigh, and look down before getting out of my side of the car. I wait for Erwin to walk over, and he grabbed my hand to lead us both inside. I don't want to do this. What if my bruise isn't covered up enough? What if they can tell by the swelling? I panic a bit, and try not to hypervenilate, especially since this is the first time I've made basically any social contact with anyone, other than the mail man. It's silly, but having no phone or access to the internet really makes you desperate to talk to someone who won't beat you. It's kind of a safe haven. Just those few mintues of conversation. I really miss talking to people.

The first thing I notice when we walk in, is the Leroy- no Levi, guy sitting alone. Early. Others start to file in soon after that, and he's introduced to everyone, including Levi.

By what he's heard of him from Erwin, he's a pretty weird guy. But his looks totally threw him off. Why did he expect some old geezer to be sitting there? He was supposed to be in his mid-thirties, but he looked almost like a teenager. He didn't look the happiest either, his eyebrows basically stuck furrowed and concerned looking. He had heavy bags underneath his eyes, like he barely gets any sleep at night. It was interesting, and Eren found himself staring at him more than he'd like. It's not like he was the only one. He kept getting stared at through the dinner too.

It was confusing, and I was confused as to why he kept looking at me with that constipated look of his. It made me kind of uncomfortable, but still intrigued. We basically take turns staring back and forth and pretend to be listening to the conversations that were going on. I do it to avoid looking at Erwin, but I still don't know why.

But what took me by surprise, was a woman getting up and leaning over to grab my cheeks. Oh no, she's going to ruin my makeup! And then everyone will know.. I was already trying to hide my face as best as I can, but if she gets a good look at it, she'll see the swelling. And that isn't what I want at all. I want to go home without being hit for once.

I block and shove her hands out of the way, before looking at her with a wide-eyed expression. I couldn't breathe, I was panicking by now. I had to leave. I get up and run off with a small sorry said her way.

I had to ask where the bathroom was, since I've never been here before. It was so hard. I couldn't even talk to a waiter while holding back the waterfall of tears. They just pointed the way with a "are you okay?" I half nod and half shake my head before going off to the pointed direction. Maybe if I just add another layer of makeup ontop of the one I have now... It'll be better, right?

I open the restroom door, and walk in to look at myself in the mirror. There were already tears running down my cheeks. How did I notice I wasn't crying? This sight, this me, is so terrible to see. I want him gone. I want to just be myself. Without worrying about bruising or makeup. I held my face in my hand for a few seconds before deciding to sit in a stall and calm myself. It managed to do the exact opposite. I couldn't stop crying.

I sat with myself and my terrible thoughts of just ending it all.

"Hey, Eren. What stall are you in? Are you okay?" They stopped, and my tears stopped as soon as I heard the door open and someone call my name. I feel uneasy, thinking it's Erwin, but I recognize the voice as not him. Levi?

He goes on, talking to me about what I should do. I reveal my bruised face to him. I just want to tell someone so bad. Get it off of my chest. Maybe I'd feel better. It only managed to do the opposite. And upset Levi. He was going to call the cops on Erwin, even though I told him not to. Just what everyone does. Lie. Well, I thought that at first. Until he forced his number on me. I hadn't thought of it as any romantic, just he wanted to help. Too bad I don't have a phone.

I guess there are good people out there.

Levi leaves me alone in the bathroom with Erwin, and I'm scared all over again. My bruise wasn't out, thankfully I had finished applying makeup before he came in. I didn't want Levi to leave, though. I want to feel safe again.

Erwin approached me with a small smile. His hand came out to grab mine, and he pulled it up to kiss the knuckle. My legs are shaking, and I don't know if I can stand much longer. I'm so afraid.

"Why are you shaking, love? My kisses make you that weak?" His other hand comes to tangle in my less messier than usual hair, and it lead down to my neck, where it rested for now.

I didn't know how to answer, so I gave a silent nod. Just to save myself. Or attempt to.

Way too out of my mind. I knew that there was no 'saving' myself when it came to Erwin. I'm pressed up against the wall in the new choke-hold from the hand on my neck. I don't struggle against him, only trying to keep my breathing as normal as I could in it's constricted ways.

"Why are you alone with another guy a bathroom? Fucking? Did you suck him off like you do me? Let him fuck you like I do?" His voice had gotten louder, and his face is closer to mine. I'm shaking more, breathing heavier and harder as my once calmer breaths went shorter. I can't breathe.

Please. Just let me go. I wasn't doing any of that.

I want to say that out loud, but my lungs won't let me. So I try to shake my head. It's barely there, but I'm sure he could feel it.

He let go of my neck, and my hands replace the spot that he had abused. I gasp for breath, and lean over a bit. There are tears definitely streaming from my eyes now. I don't know what to do anymore.

"I'm sorry." There it goes again. 'old Erwin' is back, apologizing for the millionth time. I couldn't even bring myself to say anything back. Or even look at him. My neck is a bright red. And my makeup is ruined agan. I just want this day to end. I want to end.

I don't say another word, wiping my tears again with the hard paper towels from the bathroom. It hurts against the bruise, but I tough through it anyway. I apply another layer of makeup and sigh. Erwin hasn't left, only staring at me with sad eyes. Damn him, damn him for trying to get off for this, like everything else. I have a body full of bruises because of him. And he thinks 'sorry' will fix it all.

I'm so pissed off and upset, I'm not sure I can contain my emotions. I'd try to hit him back, to see how he'd feel. But he's considerably bigger than me and will probably kill me if I did that. I want to live. I want to get myself back.

He grabs my hand, and I almost pull away from it, but I let him lead us back to the table. I'm quiet, and I don't say anything else for the rest of the night. I don't eat, and I don't look at Levi like I did before. I just want to go home, and sleep.


	4. Chp 4: Eren's POV

Hanji just _had_ to cut into the awkward and deafening silence a little bit after I had gotten back to the table. "Hey, what's up with the kid? He sure looks like his dog just died." I didn't want to talk, or do anything at all. And I made it known, but he just had to try and lighten it up. There was no lightening this up. I wanted to go home. If I talked, moved or did anything, my facade would break in two and I'd end up sobbing and begging for help. I didn't need help. Erwin.. He takes care of me. He loves me. Even if his way of showing love can be violent. I repeat this to myself over and over in my head. My head tilted up to face Hanji, and I gave her the fakest smile I could muster.

"Oh, haha. I'm fine. Just a bit sick, I guess. Don't let me down your fun. Please, keep talking." Please. If I ruin this dinner, I'll be hit when I get home. And when I get home I just want to sleep. And avoid a night where Erwin has his way with me.

I try to avoid Levi's eyes, but I can feel them burning into me. I see Erwin's pretty into a newfound conversation with Mike. So I let a little glance slip his way. He doesn't look happy at all, so I try and give another smile. This one feels a bit better, and lighter. Not so fake. But it doesn't change anything. He just mouths something. I'm not really good with reading lips, so I squint my eyes a bit to see better. Call me. That's what he said. God, he has beautiful teeth. And his lips look nice, and not chapped at all. Erwin doesn't have bad lips either, but it's kind of hard to appreciate them whenever we kiss, since it's almost always very rough. I sigh and my eyes drift away. What the hell am I thinking? When my mind drifts to these things I just get more depressed because I know I'll never be able to experience love the way I wanted to happen.

Erwin and I didn't meet in the best circumstances. I had just came out to my parents as gay and my father kicked me out. My mom made me a sandwich, and gave a fifty and told me that she was sorry, then sent me on my way out with no where to go. I crashed place to place, and ended up staying at a shelter for the homeless. Erwin had been doing a business thing there, donating food and such to places like that and we just clicked. He came by often after that, and we talked a lot. Until next thing you know, I'm in his bed. And then after his bed, it came actually committing to a relationship. He let me stay with him, since I didn't have a place to live anyway and I did. We dated for about a year, the most perfect year of my life. I got a job, managed to save some cash and got things that I could never have dreamed of getting by myself. I had everything a pefect relationship needed. Communication, trust, loyalty, super hot sex and rarely any arguing. Until something happened. I still don't know what, to this day. But it's made Erwin angrier, even more jealous and super rough during sex. He made me quit my job, and basically rules me. Nothing is enjoyable to me anymore, and I just feel stuck. I have an ugly body now, and I'm broken way beyond repair. I just don't know what to do. I want to be me again. Eren Jaeger, hard ass with a temper that no one fucked with. But look at me, I have no friends anymore, no family. I'm pitiful, I can't even leave Erwin. I want to, so bad. But I'm afraid.

I look around when I snap out of my thoughts and realize I'm at the table. So this wasn't a bad dream. I sigh and deflate a bit, but Erwin's hand slides underneath the table to grab my thigh. I'm in a cold sweat immediately, tensing when I feel it trail up further. Please not in front of all of your friends.. His hand stops there, though, since he probably knew that wouldn't be the best idea. I take a shaky inhale of breath, and look down to my barely eaten salad. I try to at least look a little normal and look around to everyone sitting at the table. Everyone is talking to someone, except Levi who is looking around looking really disinterested.

The dinner went by slow, and eventually the bill is paid and everyone is on their way. I stay behind, waiting for Erwin to get the car. Levi is the last one to go. And he talks quickly. "I'm serious Eren, call me. Or stay like this forever, your choice." He left after that, leaving me feeling super conflicted. I let my hand trail into my pocket, feeling the crinckled paper of Levi's number. If Erwin catches me, I'm dead. So I keep it there for now.

Erwin's car rolled up to the curb and I got into the passenger side. I didn't look his way at all as he drove off and onto the street.

"I'm going to let you off the hook for being a brat during dinner, just because of the whole bathroom thing. Doesn't mean you do it again." His voice sounds louder than it actually is, mostly because I'm afraid that he was going to do something to me. I could hear my heartbeat ring in my ears, as I struggle to respond. My brain eventually calms me down enough to nod and weakly mumble "Yes". Why am I so nervous right now? Because we're going home? Alone. Where no one can see him terrorize me. The thought alone scares me to the point of shaking, always. I hate reliving this. But I try to smile a bit and lighten things up. If I get on his good side, maybe the chances of that will go down..

"W-We can have a movie night.. If you want. It's been a long time since we've done something together like that." I timidly speak, even daring to look over at him. His eyes are on the road, but his face looks as serious as ever. He looks over to me for a moment, to give a smile. It's genuine. His eyes wrinkle on the sides, and his cheeks are raised from how wide his lips are spread. It's so nice seeing this, even though I know it's all just for this moment. It reminds me of old Erwin, and it almost brings tears to my eyes. But I can't cry now..

"I have work to do. So maybe you can just go to sleep. Or if you're still awake we can watch something.. I remember you used to watch Judge Judy a lot, right? I can find some on demand for us."

I only nod in response, and for once I'm happy with the atmosphere between us. I almost forgot what I've been through the last four years, but the ache in my heart makes it still shine through and dissolve anything else. It hurts so much. But now I realize I can't be with Erwin. No matter if he changes or not.

When he goes to do his work, I'll give Levi a call, and see if we can sort this out without Erwin going to jail. I want to leave him, not ruin his life. But something in me knows if I try to leave, he will go anywhere he can to find me and drag me back clawing at the ground. That thought alone is terrifying, but leaving the house is even more terrifying. I can't even walk to the mailbox without Erwin's permission, let alone go somewhere alone. Can I really handle it? Being alone?

The car pulls into our driveway, and we both get out. He gets into the house first, removing his shoes and suit jacket. I do the same, except I unbutton a few buttons on my shirt. He goes off to his study, and I go off to our bedroom.

I wait a few minutes, before peeking out of the room. No Erwin. So I open the closet door to pull out a shoe box. It has all sorts of old stuff that I had when I moved out of my parent's place, including my minute phone that I haven't used at all. Erwin doesn't let me have a phone, so this is basically all I have. I make calls to Armin occasionally, when I want to vent about being used as a punching bag, but other than that it goes untouched.

I pull the paper out of my pocket and dial the number slowly. My heart is racing, since I don't know when Erwin is going to be back or not. He likes to check on me sometimes. After swallowing all of my fear. I press the call button. It rings a few times, and the sound of it makes my anxiety go through the roof. I'm staring wide-eyed at the door at this point, so scared and waiting for this asshole to answer. And his prayers were answered. The ringing stops, and a clicking noise is heard.

"I knew you'd call."


End file.
